You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
