i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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