They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
