She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
