lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
