Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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