id be glad to
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Randomize
