did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
