Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
