i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
