i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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