I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It was confusing and full of hummus
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize