I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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