dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
