i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
