then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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