Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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