The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
