How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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