he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
