if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
