there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
