obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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