think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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