So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
