Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
