We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
