a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
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