we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
