I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
