so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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