Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
