i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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