But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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