Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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