This girl is more easily done than said...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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