Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
