you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
