It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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