I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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