How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
