He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
