she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
