I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
