I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
