trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
