i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
soo... how was my night?
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