paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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