Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
