Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
