oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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