i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
